Hiding Mikey
by Mikell
Summary: Companion to raphfreak's I Heart Raphael. Mike played a prank on his brother, and now he's on the run. Can this author protect him from an irate Raphael? Will she survive having Hamato Michelangelo as a houseguest? Will Raph get revenge? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 Sanctuary

**A/N: This started out as a one-shot. Then it got bigger. And out of control. What can I say? Things like that happen when Mikey gets involved. **

**For this to make sense, you need to first read (and review!) raphfreak's one-shot, _I Heart Raphael_.**

**In _I Heart_, Michelangelo pulled a prank of massive _pink_ proportions on Raph and is now fleeing for his life. Why he thought my house was a refuge, I have no idea, *cough*_I might've said he could hide out at my house when Katie told me what she had planned for that fic, but for goodnessakes don't tell Raph! *_cough*, but here he is. **

**Usual disclaimer, I, sadly, own no turtles, ninja, mutated or otherwise. But thanks to the actual owners for the joy they've given to so many of us over the last _25 years_. Happy anniversery, guys.  


* * *

**_chapter 1 -Sanctuary-  
~~~_

Mary waved as the school bus pulled away.

_Another day. I hope it's a good one for a change,_ she thought. _Jessi's been out sick twice this week, and Arek just can't seem to do his work without rap sounds and an Elvis impersonation or two. It's a wonder he hasn't driven his teacher off the deep end yet._

She made her way inside. The dogs had been out and were fed, the coffee pot was turned off, and her tea was brewed to perfection. She sighed, adding a dab of sugar and milk before carrying the steaming cup up to her office and settling in her chair. She opened her current story, and started skimming over what she'd written.

_Oops. Misspelled that. And… I could cut that sentence…A little more detail would really add emotion to that scene…_

She ignored the thumping from the bedroom. Another muffled _thud_, and a scratching sound and she looked up, irritated.

_Stupid cat. She's gotten herself closed in the closet again._

She got to her feet with a sigh. When she pulled the door of the closet open, she almost fell backward over the bed.

"Eeeep!" squealed the green man in the closet.

"Ahhhh!" shrieked the author, reaching for something solid to bash him with so she could make her escape.

"Please don't tell Raphie I'm here!"

It took Mary all of five more seconds to realize the… man… was actually a turtle, wearing an orange bandana and a frightened expression in his blue eyes.

"_Mikey_?"

"Hiya, Mikell," said Mike sheepishly.

"Is there a _reason_ you're hanging out in my _closet?_" she demanded, grabbing the ninja's arm and drawing him out.

"I umm… well, it's real cozy in there," stuttered Michelangelo.

Mary laughed. "Mike, you're a goof. What's going on? Where are the others? It's ok, my family's gone for the day; you guys can come out of hiding."

"Umm they're not here. They… don't know I came," said Mike. His pale complexion was beginning to darken to a pinkish-green.

"They don't know where you are? What about your shell-cell? Can't Don track you?" asked Mary.

Mike went three shades paler. He yanked the phone out of his belt and stared at it as if it would bite him.

"Oh, no. I forgot about that. Quick, take this." he shoved it into the woman's hands as if it were a ticking bomb. "I've gotta find a better place to hide!" He darted out of the room and into Mary's office. She followed, watching in puzzlement as he tried to cram his shell under her desk. Mike pulled the chair in behind himself.

Mary knelt down, wincing slightly and holding onto the desk for support. She peered into the space at the cowering turtle.

"Mike. That's not a good hiding place," she told him, amused.

"Oh, man… Mikell, you've got to help me." He crawled out from under the desk reluctantly and stood fidgeting, his blue eyes darting around the room, searching for an escape.

"Do ya think I'd fit in the cabinet under the sink?" he asked.

"Hamato Michelangelo!" Mary took the trembling turtle by the arms and gave him a slight shake. Or at least she tried. It was like trying to shake a boulder.

_Wow,_ she thought. _These guys really are made of muscle._

"Mike. Relax. What is going on?"

"He's gonna find me." A whimper crept into the young turtle's voice. "He's gonna find me and he's gonna take me _apart_."

"Whoa. Mike, who's after you? Is it Shredder? Bishop? Stockman? Did someone create a new villain?"

"N… no." he stammered. He backed away until his shell pressed against the door to Ken's den. "It's worse."

"Worse than _Bishop_?" Mary's eyes widened. "Mike, if you're in serious danger, you know I'll do whatever I can to protect you. I know you guys don't like guns, but Ken has some rifles. I know how to use the .410 and the .22…"

"No!" Mike's eyes flashed and his hands went to the nunchucks tucked in his belt. "Don't you dare!"

"Ok, ok, geez, Mike. I thought you were scared. I'm just trying to help."

"I… I am." The fearful look was back. "He's gonna take my shell off an' use it for a soup bowl…"

"Michelangelo. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," said Mary firmly. She hated seeing the blue-eyed turtle so upset. He was obviously scared.

"You can't stop him." His voice rose with panic. "He'll just go right _through_ you. You've gotta hide me. Please, Mikell!"

"Ok, ok. Mike, geez." Mary fetched the key to Ken's den.

_I've never read anything about him being bi-polar, but these mood swings are a little weird. I'd better just humor him for now, until I can figure out what's going on._

"You can hide out in here, ok? If someone comes up, that panel there leads to the attic. If you had to, you could hide in there. Will that do?"

"Are ya sure it's safe?" Mike swallowed hard.

"Sure, Mikey," said Mary gently. "See, there's even a Playstation. Do you like Dangerous Hunts?"

"What's that?" He perked up, looking over the gaming system and settling contentedly in the lounge chair.

"A game where you hunt animals."

"Hunting?" Mikey made a face.

"Sure. You choose your weapon and hunt wild animals. You've got to be careful, though, or they'll attack you…"

Mike was shaking his head. "Nah," he muttered.

_Oh, I forgot what an animal lover Mike is_, thought Mary, amused.

"Ok, well there's this racing game…"

"Ooooh! Road Rage Four! Cool! Can I play this?"

"Sure, Mike, whatever you want," said Mary. "You know how to set it up, right?"

"Yep." The orange-banded turtle slipped the disk into the machine and turned on the television. He grinned, waiting for the game to start.

Mary sighed. _Silly turtle._

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"_Now_ can you tell me why you were hiding in my closet?"

"Oh! I umm…" Michelangelo fidgeted.

"Mikey…"

"Ok, ok. I… might've… gotten under Raph's shell. Just a little." He muttered. "It was your friend Katie's fault. It was her idea!"

"Oh… Oh, Mikey." Realization dawned. "You mean… the paint?"

"Ummm…" he looked up reluctantly. "If I say yes, will you still let me stay?"

"You mean to tell me _Raphael_ is looking for you?"

"Well…"

"And he's ticked off because you painted him _pink?_"

"It was _washable _paint… At least, I think it was."

"And he could come _here,_ looking for you?"

"It's… possible?"

Mikey tried his best puppy eyes on the scowling author.

"But you said you'd protect me, right?"

"Michelangelo…"

"Please, Mikell? He'll calm down. It's just for a day or two, until all the pink wears off that one spot where his shell is kinda rough, 'cause you know, it got in the crevice and it wouldn't come out, so he's got a patch on his side. How was I supposed to know? Anyway, you don't want him to pound my shell in, right? Aren't I your favorite?"

"Mikey," the author sighed. "I don't _have_ a favorite. I love all you guys. Even Raph."

"Don't know why," grumbled the turtle, squirming. "It's not like he's got a sense of humor or anything."

Mary laughed. "It was pretty funny," she admitted.

Mike gave her a sly grin. "Does that mean I can stay?"

"I suppose so," she answered with a sigh. "But you've got to stay out of sight. My family would never understand. They already think I'm nuts for writing fan-fiction. And you've got to stay out of _trouble._"

"I can do that."

"And, you've got to call and let Splinter at least know where you are."

"Aw, but…"

"Mike. I'm not having your _wife_ come storming in here looking for you. Your brothers, either. You know how they are. If they thought I kidnapped you, I'd be toast."

"Aww, don't worry, Mikell. I'd protect you."

"Gee thanks, Mike."

_I know I'm going to regret this,_ she thought. _I just know it._

…

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2 Pink, Green, Black and Blue

**A/N: Aww thanks for enjoying this, guys. Obviously it's not going to be updated every day, but I'll try to keep them coming fairly quickly.**

**Bold _italics_ indicate the song lyrics stuck irrevocably in Raphael's head. ;)  


* * *

**_chapter 2 -Pink, Green, Black and Blue-  
~~~_

Pink goes well with jade-green. Really well. So well, in fact, that Leonardo and Donatello couldn't help but admire the bright pink patch still clinging to Raph's shell. Not that they would've said so aloud, of course. Neither brother was feeling particularly suicidal.

"Raph, when're you going to give it a rest?" asked Leo as his hot-headed brother stalked into the Lair after yet another fruitless several-hour long search of the sewers for their missing brother. "He's not going to come out of hiding until you cool down."

"He's gotta be out there _somewhere_, Leo," growled Raphael. "He's gotta come home sooner or later. He's gotta _eat._" His eyes narrowed. "Mike's been missin' all night an' it's almost noon. How come yer not goin' outta yer shell, worryin'? What if da Foot or da PD's got 'im?"

"I'm sure Mike's fine, Raph. He's a big turtle now, after all," said Leo. He grabbed a polishing cloth and sat down in an armchair, drawing a katana and laying it in his lap. He rubbed the steel blade, avoiding his brother's eyes.

"You know where he is, don't ya, Fearless?" Raph stepped closer, menacing.

"No." Leo barely looked up from his task.

"Ya do. Otherwise you'd o' been out lookin' fer 'im by now."

"Raph." Leonardo sighed. "Why can't you just let this go? It was just paint."

"_Just_ paint?" Raphael gave his brother a sick look. "What about two _hours_ o' torture, Leo? I'll never get dat song outta my head."

Leo had to fight off the urge to smirk. Unconsciously, he began to hum as the cloth slid over the blade in his lap. He realized his mistake an instant later when his brother launched himself over their small coffee table, crashing into him and rolling him backward, chair, katana and all.

"Hey! Raph, _careful_, that's sharp! Ow! DON! Li'l help here?"

Donatello stepped out of his lab in time to pull Raphael off the squirming Leo. Raph had managed to dislodge the katana from his brother's hand and send it skittering across the floor. Don grabbed his hot-headed older brother's shell and hauled him back and away, allowing Leonardo a moment to gain his feet. Raph yanked away from Don with a growl.

Leo took a defensive crouch, but Raph didn't attack again. Not yet.

"Where is he?" he snarled.

"I don't know. I swear, Raph!" Leo's dark eyes widened as Raphael began circling him like a lion stalking its prey. "Ok, he called Master Splinter this morning. He's fine. That's all I know, I swear! Splinter didn't tell us where he is!"

Raphael's amber gaze snapped to Donatello. Don went slightly pale, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"It's true, Raph," he said. "Splinter said Mike's safe, but he wouldn't tell us anything else."

"I'm gonna find him," said Raphael coldly, straightening up. "And when I do, I'm gonna pound da _shell_ outta 'im. An' if I find out yer lyin' to me, I'm gonna pound da shell outta _you._"

He turned and stalked off toward the dojo. Soon the sounds of Raph abusing his well-worn punching bag could be heard through out the Lair.

"Do you think we should warn Mikell?" whispered Don.

"Shhh! Do you want him to hear?" hissed Leonardo. "Splinter said we're not to interfere. Mike and Raph have to work this out on their own."

"I just hope she doesn't get in Raph's way," said Don.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," said Leo with a worried glance toward the dojo.

***

Raphael threw punch after punch at the swinging bag.

_Take dat, …  
__**Wish I had concentrated**_**… **_**They said love was complicated**_

_and dat…_

_**But just look what I created… I came out alive but I'm black and blue…Before you ask me if I'm alright…**_

Raph threw a particularly vicious punch, knocking a large hole in the side of the bag. Sand poured out, and a choking dust rose up, stinging his eyes and clogging his throat. He staggered back, coughing and gagging, cursing mentally because he couldn't get enough breath to do it aloud.

_Mikey! Look what ya made me do! You an' dat STUPID song! Aaarrrrgh!_

Raph turned away, stomping out of the dojo in a fine rage.

"Raphael!" Splinter's sharp reprimand stopped Raph in his tracks. He gave a short, automatic bow.

"_Hai_, Sensei."

"What has happened to your bag?" Splinter's black eyes were fastened on his son's face. His expression was stern.

"I… I was just goin' ta clean it up, Master," grated out Raph.

"See that you do," said Splinter. His expression softened. "If you would like, Raphael, I would be happy to help you clean the remaining paint from your shell."

"No." Raph shook his head, scowling.

_Yer not washin' me like a hatchling._

He caught his father's stern gaze and shrugged.

"Dat's ok, Sensei. I… I can do it m'self."

"As you wish, my son."

Splinter half-turned to leave the dojo. Pausing, he looked Raphael full in the face. "The shade does bring out your coloring," he said calmly.

Raph couldn't be sure if the slight twitch of Splinter's whiskers was a smile or not before his father was gone.

Grumbling, he headed for the closet to fetch the broom and dustpan.

***

Splinter sank to the mat in his room. He picked up the chipped tea pot from the low table and poured himself a cup of tea. It took all his control to keep the pot from shaking as he carefully tipped it to strain out the leaves. Picking up the cup, he allowed himself the tiniest of grins as he sipped the tea.

_It is too bad Raphael considers red a more masculine color,_ he thought, his fur hiding his faint smirk. _Pink really does suit him._

"Enter, my son," he said, carefully composing himself.

Leonardo came in slowly. He glanced up at Splinter, his eyes full of awe.

"How did you know I was there, Sensei?"

Splinter smiled.

_Because of the faint odor of sandalwood that follows you wherever you go._

"Do you wish to speak with me, Leonardo?"

"Yes, Sensei," said Leo quietly. "I'm… worried about Raph."

"Worried, my son?"

"Yes. I'm afraid… well, he seems rather… obsessed with finding Mike. Last night he was sharpening his sai, _again._ You don't think… you don't think he'll _hurt_ Mikey, do you, Father?"

"Your brother's pride has been wounded, Leonardo," said Splinter slowly. "I fear Michelangelo's prank has gone a bit too far this time."

"What should we do, Master?"

"Nothing, Leonardo," said Splinter gently. "Michelangelo must learn to deal with the consequences of his actions."

"But Raph…"

"Raphael will calm down," said Splinter. "Give him time."

"Do you think Mike will be ok?"

Splinter smiled. "It is not Michelangelo for whom you should worry, my son," he said.

It took Leo a few moments to puzzle out what his father meant. A slow smile crossed his face. He chuckled.

"I just hope Mikey comes home in one piece," he said. "She hasn't written a death-fic yet, but she's never had to _live_ with him, either."

"I am sure your brother is in safe hands," said Splinter with a smile. "After all, she has a little boy of her own."

Leonardo frowned. "She has a family? But Sensei, doesn't staying there put Mike in danger of being discovered?"

"Do not worry, Leonardo. Michelangelo is a ninja, trained in the arts of stealth and invisibility. I am certain he will remain hidden," said Splinter, taking another sip of tea.

Leo shook his head. "I hope so, Father," he said uncertainly.

Splinter smiled. "Your brother will be fine, Leonardo."

_I just hope Mikell will survive this little adventure,_ thought Splinter. _Michelangelo by himself is enough worry for any one being. Michelangelo in the same house with Miss Mikell's own son might be too much for anyone to deal with. Ah, well. I am sure this story will have a favorable conclusion._

_

* * *

_**A/N: Yeah, glad you think so, Splinter. *grumble* Maybe next fic, I'll send MY son to live with YOU for a few days...**


	3. Chapter 3 Boredom

**A/N: For those of you who've said I can send Mike to you if I get fed up- I don't own him, and he's not being cooperative about being tucked into a box for mailing. :-p **

**However, if you'd like a pint-sized version, my son Arek is available for loan. ;)**

**LOL**

**Btw, yes, we really do have that many pets. 4 cats, a bird, some fish and newts, too. No partridges in pear trees, though. ;)  
**

**

* * *

**_chapter 3 -Boredom-  
~~~_

"Mikell, I'm boooooored," whined Michelangelo for the tenth time in as many minutes. He stood in the doorway to the office. "Do ya have anything around here to eat? How about we order out for pizza?"

"We can't get pizza delivered out here, Mikey," said Mary. She drew in a deep breath, trying to be patient with the hyper turtle. "I told you, we're too far out for stuff like that. This isn't the city, you know."

"Well, you've got neighbors, right? Somebody should really start a delivery service for places like this. They could deliver the pizza on horses, like the Pony Express…"

"Mike…"

"Donny says they used to do it with the mail, in the old west. Man, I can just see it. Delivery boys ridin' around with pizza in their saddle bags instead of mail…"

"Mike…"

"Of course you'd have to tip the horse, too. You could give 'im a carrot or something…"

"_Michelangelo_!" Mary's exasperated exclamation stopped the flow.

"What?"

"I'm _trying_ to write, Mike. Can't you find something to do?"

"I'm bored," he complained again. "I've played all the games you've got already. Except that huntin' one, 'cause I don't wanna shoot anything."

"Well, why don't you… play outside?" asked Mary, rubbing her forehead. She felt a headache coming on.

"Dude, I'm not like, four," grouched Mike. "I don't _play_."

"Well, you could… explore, then," said Mary. "Patrol the perimeter or something."

"Nah. All that security stuff is Leo and Don's job," said Mike, leaning against the doorframe.

"Michelangelo, let me put it this way," said the annoyed author. "I work on a schedule. I try to write at least one chapter per day. When my schedule gets disrupted, I get cranky. Just like _Raph_," she added pointedly. The turtle's blue eyes widened behind the mask. "Now, I _suggest_ that you go outside and find a way to entertain yourself for an hour or so, ok?"

"Umm, sure, whatever," said Mike. he headed for the stairs. "I'll… um, see you in an hour."

"Great."

The door opened and closed at the bottom of the stairs. Mary sighed deeply with relief and began typing.

"EEEEP!"

_Roooowwf!_

Mary was on her feet in an instant, dashing down the stairs.

_Oh, man… Oh I can't believe I forgot Bella was down there…_

"Mike, are you ok?" Mary looked around the hall, but the young ninja was nowhere to be seen. "Mikey?"

"In here."

She walked down the short hall and into her son Arek's room. Michelangelo was perched atop the bunk bed, leaning over the edge to peer nervously at the snarling dog below.

"Bella, _down._" Mary couldn't stifle a smile. The dog, who'd been so shy only a few weeks ago when the family brought her home from the pound, had obviously decided that the green warrior was an intruder to be repelled from her new family's home.

"It tried to bite me!" complained Mike.

"Come on down, Mikey. She's not going to hurt you," said Mary. She caught the dog's collar. "You scared her, that's all. Let her sniff you, so she can see you're friendly."

"_I'm _friendly," said Michelangelo, with another glance over the side of the bed. He dropped to the floor, landing lightly a few feet away from the dog who growled low in her throat. Mike took a step back. "I'm not so sure about _her_, though."

"Just let her smell your hand," said Mary. "She's shy with new people, that's all."

"She doesn't seem shy to me," grumbled the ninja. He knelt, holding out his hand cautiously. The dog growled low in her throat.

Mike flinched, jerking back, and the dog barked, startled.

"Mike, for goodnesssakes," said Mary, scowling. "Just let her sniff you!"

"You're the one who wrote Rufus," Michelangelo replied. "I wasn't scared of dogs 'til he _bit_ me."*

Mary sighed. "Sorry, Mikey," she said. "Just let her sniff you. I've got her. I promise I won't let her bite you."

Michelangelo held out his hand slowly to the dog. She sniffed suspiciously, keeping a wary eye on him. Finally some of the trembling tension in the dog relaxed. She stopped straining forward and the growl softened to a whine.

"There, see. She's ok once she gets to know you," said Mary.

Braver, Mike reached out and scratched the dog's ears. Bella immediately flopped over onto her back. Mary let go of her collar and rubbed her exposed belly affectionately.

"Rub her belly, Mike. She likes it."

With a grin, Mikey rubbed the dog's stomach. Bella squirmed with delight.

"I guess you'd better meet the other one, too," said Mary. She sighed, thinking of the chapter she still had to finish before the kids got home from school. "And, as long as I'm already down here, I might as well make us some lunch."

"Really?" Mike's blue eyes lit up.

"I might even have the stuff to make pizza," said Mary with a smile.

"Awesome!" Michelangelo headed out into the hallway, turning to detour through the living room toward the kitchen. Half-way there, in the wide hall between the living room and kitchen, he stopped in his tracks.

"Dude," he breathed. "What's _wrong_ with your dogs?"

Mary laughed, coming into the hall behind him. "Those aren't dogs, Mike. They're guinea pigs. That's Cuddles," she pointed. "And Buttercup. Down here are Lucky and Cookie."

"What's this bunk-bed thing?" Mikey leaned over to peer into the cages. Buttercup skittled into her purple plastic pig-loo, squealing in protest. Cuddles stuck his head out of his wooden shelter, squeaking loudly in a bid for treats. Lucky and Cookie took refuge under a shelf.

"It's just a shelf for the C&C cages we use," said Mary. "They're bigger than the cages we can get at a pet store. Guinea pigs need a lot of room to run around."

"How come this guy's in a little cage?" asked Mike.

"Cuddles is an escape artist," said Mary. She opened the cage and grabbed the squirming guinea pig. "He jumps right out of the boy's cage if we try to keep him in it."

"Aww, he's cute," said Mike, accepting the little animal. He scratched the back of Cuddle's head gently with his finger. The fat little pig _popped_ his nose up, bumping Mike's hand with his head, squealing.

"He likes you," said Mary, grinning.

"Really?" Mike's blue eyes lit up.

"Yep. Just be careful. Don't let him jump."

"Ok."

Mary left Michelangelo to hold the guinea pig while she made her way into the kitchen. She pulled two lumps of pizza dough out of the freezer and tossed them in the microwave to defrost while she assembled toppings and ingredients.

She hummed faintly while she greased a cookie sheet and began flattening the dough out in the pan. Michelangelo came into the kitchen, smiling.

"Do you have any treats I can give 'em?" he asked.

Mary smiled over her shoulder. "There's a bag of romaine lettuce in the 'fridge," she said. "Make sure it's the dark stuff, not the iceberg. That's no good for them," she cautioned.

"How come?"

"It's got too much water in it. If they get too much, it can kill them."

"Dude. Un-cool."

"Yep." She smiled. "But they should have some greens every day."

"Poor piggies," crooned Mike. "No pizza for you." He took the bag of lettuce and disappeared into the hallway. "Hey, Mikell… what about the bunny? Can he have lettuce?"

"Sure."

"What about these skinny guinea pigs with the long tails?"

"Those are _rats_, Michelangelo."

"No way! They're white!"

"They're domestic rats, Mike." Mary rolled her eyes, popping the pizza in the oven. She brushed off her hands and went out to where Mike was staring into a wire cage. "That's Tom. Spring's over here."

"How come they're separate?" he asked. "Don't they like to play togther?"

"They have to be. Spring's a girl."

"So… Oh!" Understanding dawned on Mike's face. He grinned. "I get it. You don't want babies, right?"

"Right."

"I'm smart-icle." Michelangelo beamed, and Mary laughed. "Is the pizza ready yet?"

"Not quite. It needs to cook for about fifteen more minutes."

"Ok."

"Why don't you go wash your hands, Mike? I'll try to write a bit while it cooks."

"Ok."

_I'll never get anything done at this rate,_ she thought, heading upstairs. She'd barely written two paragraphs when Mike's voice drifted up the stairs.

"Pizza's ready!"

"Ok, Mike, you go ahead and take it out. I'll be down in a few minutes," called Mary.

_Surely he can handle taking a pizza out of the oven,_ she thought. She typed another few sentences. _Then again, this is _Mike_ we're talking about. Maybe I'd better check on him._

She got up with a sigh and headed downstairs.

"_Michelangelo!_"

Mikey looked up, his blue eyes wide with innocence. Bella the basset hound didn't even flinch. She went on gobbling pizza from the plate in front of her, on the table.

"_Why_ did you feed the dog _pizza?_" Mary fought to keep her voice calm.

"Umm she looked hungry?" Mike glanced from the dog happily enjoying her feast to the irate woman.

"Mike! Pizza makes her sick," grumbled Mary. She grabbed the dog's collar and tugged her down from the chair. Bella hopped to the floor with a sigh.

"Oh. Like the guinea pigs with the iceberg lettuce, huh?"

"Not quite that bad, Mike, but yeah, it makes her ill." Mary sighed.

"Sorry." Michelangelo fidgeted.

"Listen, just finish your pizza. We'll take the dogs out for a run, ok? Hopefully she'll get it out of her system outdoors."

The dog let out a loud belch.

Mike eyed the animal warily.

"Umm, ok, Dudette, whatever you say."


	4. Chapter 4 Donatello's Fan Girl

**A/N: It's a drive-by posting... **

**Why am I giving you another chapter today? Meh, just because I can.**

**Here's your cameo, Brynna. What can I say? You asked for it. ;)  


* * *

**_chapter 4 -Donatello's Fan-Girl-  
~~~_

Donatello hunched over his computer, tapping away at the keys. He tuned out his older brother's growled threats and stomping about the Lair. As long as Raph didn't come beating on the reinforced door of Donatello's lab, all would be well.

He'd told Splinter the three-inch thick steel door was necessary to protect the Lair in case something went badly wrong with an experiment, to contain an explosion. The truth was, the door served that purpose and another as well. It was designed to hold against the worst of Raph's temper tantrums. It was Don's version of a panic room, his safe refuge if his brother's legendary temper finally went nuclear. Donatello intended to survive the explosion.

"Leo_nardo!_" shouted Raph. "Where's the leather fer patchin' m' bag?"

"I dunno, Raph. Why don't you ask Don?"

_Curse you, Leo,_ thought Don, sitting up in alarm.

"Donny! You know where my leather is?" Raphael was standing in the doorway before Don could close the door. Amber eyes glared at the trembling turtle.

"Umm… I think there's some in the supply closet," Donatello just managed to keep the squeak out of his voice.

"T'anks," growled Raph. "Hey, whatcha workin' on, Genius?"

"I… I was just… updating the Fan-fiction schedule," said Donatello. "You know Leo wants me to keep track of when they update so we can be prepared..."

Raph's eyes narrowed as Don clicked the window closed he'd been working on.

"Fan-fic authors, huh?" The red-banded turtle took a step toward his brother. "Now, Mike wouldn't be hidin' out wit' one o' our _authors,_ would he?" he asked, his voice low and growling. "Dat Katie…"

"Don't be silly, Raph," said Don, sweat breaking out across his brow. "Katie can hardly stand her _own_ little brother. She'd never put up with Mike for this long."

"Who else might be hidin' 'im, Don? Dat Melody Winters, she likes Mikey. Who else does Katie hang out wit'?"

"Well, um…" Don waffled, trying to stall.

"Now, Bro, you wouldn't want anyt'in… _unfortunate_, ta happen ta yer computer, would ya? All I want is a couple names."

"Oh! Oh, I umm… well, I guess I could check the chat logs," said Donatello slowly.

He clicked a few buttons, his fingers flying over the keyboard.

_I hope I can pull this off,_ thought Donatello fervently. He clicked the command to filter the list, excluding a certain conversation with a few well-placed key words. A short list of names popped up on the screen.

"Lion o' Judah… Melody Winters… Dese are da ones Katie's been talkin' ta?" growled Raph.

"Yes." Donatello swallowed hard, avoiding his brother's gaze.

"Well, dat Winters… she has little kids, right? Mikey'd drive her nuts. What about da other one?"

"She lives clear across the country, Raph. Mike could hardly be hanging out there!"

"Since when does dat matter?" asked Raph with a sneer. "Fan fiction people live all over da world, an' we manage ta visit 'em. Sides, you got all dem little star t'ings aroun' her name."

"They're called asterisks. Raph, I don't think Brynna would put up with Mikey either," said Don, a note of desperation creeping into his voice.

"Why not, Donny? 'Cause yer her _favorite?_" Raphael grinned. "I t'ink I'll go an' pay her a visit."

"If you must," said Donatello with a weary sigh. "At least let me go with you."

"What fer?"

"To keep you from _breaking_ anything." Donatello gave his brother a level look. "I know how you get, Raph. Especially when you're frustrated."

"Fine, whatevah. Let's go."

The trip took a surprisingly short time, considering the distance they had to travel. Don's latest invention, a teleportation device depending on the wormhole phenomena he'd discovered during a recent adventure.

_These Stargate people really are helpful, with their alien technology and all_, thought Don as they stepped out of the shimmering porthole. _I'm glad Brynna introduced us to them, even if Raph did end up getting possessed by an alien parasite._

"Is dis da place?"

"I guess," said Don, glancing down at his GPS tracker.

"Well, let's take da direct approach," said Raph, striding to the front door.

"Whoa! Wait, Raph, what if it's the wrong place? What if her… I don't know, parents or somebody open the door? What if…"

"Can it, Brainiac," snarled Raph. He pounded unceremoniously at the door.

There was no answer, so he pounded again.

Finally they heard a stirring within, and a young woman came to the door, looking a bit tousled.

"Lion O' Judah?" Raph growled.

The woman's eyes went wide and Raph winced, anticipating a blood-curdling scream. To forestall the rather ear-shattering greeting, he darted forward, clamping a hand over her mouth and shoving her inside.

"Raph!" squawked Don in protest. "That's no way to treat an Author!"

"Chill out," said Raph. His eyes were on the girl, but he half-turned to his brother as he spoke, including him in the command. "I ain't gonna hurt ya, lady. I jus' wanna know where my bro is." he took his hand away, releasing her.

Brynna stood up straight, glaring at the red-banded turtle.

"How should _I_ know? _One_ of your brothers is right here, you big cretin! As for the other two, I have no idea. _I _left them trapped in Bishop's laboratory…" She paled as Raphael's hands strayed to his sai. "Bishop's _unconscious!_" she cried, holding up her hands in a defensive gesture. "He's not going to _hurt_ them, honest!"

"He'd better _not_," growled Raph. "Least not 'til _I _have a go at Mikey!"

"Michelangelo? What'd he do now?" asked the author.

"Ya been readin' raphfreak's stories?" growled Raphael.

Brynna's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh… is this about that song? And the chair… and…" her lips twitched, suspiciously close to a smile. "And the… paint?" The tiniest of snorts escaped her.

Raphael gave her his best death-glare. If looks could kill, Lion of Judah would've been no more than a smoking pile of ash on the carpet. Fortunately looks, even death-glares from an angry mutant ninja, are not usually fatal. Sai-strikes on the other hand, can be quite detrimental to one's health. In the next instant, Brynna found herself backing away rather rapidly as Donatello wrestled with his brother.

"Raph! Stop it!" cried Donatello.

Raphael finally relaxed, no longer fighting his brother's attempt to hold him back.

"All right, Donny," he said, his eyes flashing. He slid his sai back into his belt "But she's gotta tell me where she's hidin' Mikey."

"Mikey? You mean Michelangelo? I told you, I left him in a cage…" Brynna trailed off, seeing Raph's expression darken dangerously.

"Raph, he's not here," said Don firmly. "I promise you. She's _not_ hiding Mikey!"

"Den why'd ya have little stars aroun' her name in yer computer?" snapped Raphael.

"Well, I, um…" Donatello blushed bright reddish-green. Suddenly he seemed to find a spot on the carpet under his feet very interesting indeed.

"Donny…" Raph's low warning growl made Don's chocolate-brown eyes snap up to his brother's face.

"He's not here, Raph. I give you my word of honor."

"Seriously, Raphael, Mike's a pain," said Brynna, a little breathless at having her life threatened by the red-banded turtle. "And where would I hide him? I don't exactly have a mansion here."

Raph nodded slowly, but he still pinned his brother with his amber gaze. "What's up wit' da stars, Don?"

"Can't you just let it go, Raph?" Don looked desperately at his brother.

"No."

"It's… I just… I'm her favorite, ok?" Donatello's face was beginning to resemble an almost-ripe tomato. This was not a conversation he wanted to have in front of Brynna. "Sorry for the trouble," he said to the author, trying to shift the focus of the conversation.

He saw that the author was blushing nearly as deeply as he was and couldn't help the giggle that escaped him.

_Here we are, both feeling very awkward and foolish,_ he thought. _But we really should be friends. She makes me look really smart in her stories, gives me a chance to be in the spotlight for a change._

"It's ok, Don," she said with a smile.

Raphael rolled his eyes with a deep sigh. Donatello shot his brother an irritated glance.

"Come on, Brainiac. If Mikey ain't here, I wanna get back ta da Lair an' patch dat bag," said Raph.

"Yeah, I guess we'd better… get going," said Donatello. "It was nice to see you, Brynna."

"You too, Don," said the author nonchalantly.

The two turtles turned to go. Brynna closed the door carefully behind them. Donatello was certain he heard the rasping _click_ of a dead-bolt being fastened into place.

_Nice going, Raph,_ he thought.

"So ya got yerself a fan-girl, huh, Donny?" Raphael's low chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"Oh, like half the authors on the site aren't in love with you and Leo," snapped Donatello. "Give it a rest, Raph."

"Relax, Genius, I was jus' ribbin' ya," said Raphael with a smirk.

The pair stepped back through the glowing gate, reappearing with a faint _pop_ in Donatello's laboratory once more.

"I gotta go find dat leather," said Raph, scowling.

"You do that, Raph," said Donatello with a sigh.

Raph moved off, the ground shaking in his wake.

Donatello almost smirked as he caught sight of the bright pink patch still clinging to his brother's shell. Almost. His survival instinct was too strong to let his lips curl, or the slightest giggle escape him. He wasn't known as the genius for nothing.


	5. Chapter 5 Indigestion

**A/N: Another chapter. Why? Because I can. And because I have to go to a funeral today. (a friend's mother. She was over 100. A very sweet lady who is now at peace.)  
I hate going to funerals. Posting this is my way of cheering myself up.**

**Still don't own him, sorry. And can't find a mailbox big enough, anyway.  
You'll have to write yourselves into your own fics. ;)  


* * *

**_chapter 5 -Indigestion-  
~~~_

Bella the basset hound stretched out on the carpet at Mary's feet with a groan. She, and the black lab, Nellie, had been out for a good run. They'd had a lovely time chasing the strange green visitor around the back yard. He squeaked most satisfactorily when she nipped at his heel. Bella's walnut-sized brain couldn't quite make the connection between the visitor and her current state of digestive discomfort, but she could sense Mary's annoyance with the teenager and that was enough to make him a fun target to tease.

_He's like a puppy,_ thought Bella. _Squeaky._

She closed her eyes and sighed, content in a day's work.

***

Mary Mikell tapped away contentedly. Having a pair of dogs chase him around the back yard seemed to have taken the edge off a little of Michelangelo's energy.

_It might've been a little mean to let them loose like that,_ she mused. _Seeing how he's a little nervous about dogs biting him now. Geesh, anyone could see that Bella was just playing. And Nellie hardly got near him. He sure can climb. I never saw anyone get up an apple tree so fast. Well, at least things are quiet now. Maybe I can finish another chapter before the kids get home._

So engrossed was she in building her latest character into a bricked-up tomb of a plot, she barely looked up when Logan, her daughter's cockatiel, started shrieking, announcing the approach of her daughter's school bus.

_Thud_. A book bag landed on the floor. The door _slammed_. Footsteps headed for the kitchen. Soon Jessica came up the stairs, an apple in hand.

"Hi, Mom. Whatcha doin?"

"Hi, Squirt. I'm just trying to get some writing done. How was school?"

"Ok, I guess." Jessica made a face.

Mary sighed. _Well, at least she stayed the entire day this time, and didn't come home sick._

"Do you have homework?"

"Oh, Mo-o-om. Can't I do it later?"

"I suppose. As long as it gets done."

"I'm gonna go play on the Playstation."

"Ok, whatever."

Mary bent her head over the laptop. It registered an instant later that her daughter was heading for her father's den, not downstairs to her own room.

"Wait, Jess, I…"

Too late. The red-head swung the wooden door open and walked into the den. Mary winced, hearing a distinct _Eeep!_

There was a quick scuffle and then… silence.

"Umm, Jess?" Mary got up and headed into the den. Jessica was standing, staring at the lounge chair. There was no sign of Michelangelo. Mary relaxed slightly.

_Maybe he heard her coming and had time to slip out the window or something,_ she thought. _It's not like she can _see_ him, anyway. Geesh. He's just a fictional character._

"Umm, Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a giant turtle hiding behind Dad's chair."

"What?" _Oh crud. Maybe she _can_ see him._

"I think it's Michelangelo." Jessica looked at her mother seriously. "Mom, I think your fan fiction is getting out of control."

"Well, you're the one seeing giant turtles," said Mary, trying to keep a straight face. "Honey, maybe you'd better go lie down…"

"M-o-m." Jessica rolled her eyes. "He's _right there._" She walked over and unceremoniously pulled the chair away from the corner, revealing a five-foot tall turtle trying unsuccessfully to blend in with the wall.

"_Eeep!_"

Mikey scooted out from the corner. He looked desperately around the room and finally settled for trying to hide behind Mikell.

"Pay no attention to the turtle behind the author," he said in a rather squeaky voice.

"Doof," whispered Mary. She looked at her daughter. "So… you see him too, huh?"

"Mom, geez. I read fan-fiction. I know who Michelangelo is," said Jessica, smiling. "Hi, Mikey."

Michelangelo straightened up, eyeing the girl nervously. "Umm, hi."

"Mike, this is my daughter, Jessica," said Mary, shaking her head. "And apparently, she's as nuts as I am."

"Oh, thanks, Mom," said Jess. "Mikey, do you wanna see my guinea pigs?"

"I um, already saw 'em, Dudette. They're cool," said Mikey, his voice returning to approximately normal. "You're… you're not gonna tell anyone I'm here, right?"

"Of course not, silly." Jessica laughed. "Who'd believe me, anyway?"

"Heh, right." Mike grinned. "You wanna play video games?"

"Sure. Do you like Power Puff Girls?"

"What? Dude, seriously?" Mikey stared. "I _love _that game."

Mary laughed. "Mikey, you can't be serious."

"Dude, it's totally awesome. I can't play it at home, 'cause you know, Raph'd tease the shell offa me."

"Ok, well, I've got to go put in a load of laundry," said Mary, shaking her head. "You two behave yourselves."

"Sure thing," said Mike, settling into the chair. Jessica popped the disk into the game console and grabbed the second controller.

Mary was pulling the last of the laundry out of the dryer when her son's voice echoed through the house.

"Mom! I'm home! I'm goin' to Brody's!"

"Ok, Arek, have fun. I love you!"

"Love ya too."

The front door slammed.

Folding laundry took another ten minutes. Mary heard the door _slam_ again.

"Brody's a _jerk_!" yelled Arek.

_Another spat. Yep, they're definitely best friends._

"What's the matter Buddy?" called Mary.

"_Nothing_," growled Arek. "I'm gonna go play with _Jessica._" he muttered, as if that would fix that Brody kid.

"Ok. She's upstairs," called Mary. She picked up the basket, shaking her head.

_Where on earth do the towels get off to? I swear the kids are using them for super-man capes or something, we never seem to have enough towels… Oh crap. Arek went up stairs. Mike…_

She hurried up the stairs. "Um, Arek, I forgot to tell you…"

"Mom! Michelangelo's here!" yelled Arek. "He's kicking Jessi's _butt_ at Power puff Girls!"

_I wonder if Ken will be able to see him too? But he doesn't read fan-fiction like Jessi and he doesn't watch the movies obsessively like Arek. Hmm. He's not really a fan. I wonder how he'll feel about a five-foot tall, bi-pedal mutant turtle in the house? It wouldn't be so bad if it was Don or Leo, or even Raph. He could relate to an intelligent conversation with Don. Leo could talk to him about fireman and rescue type stuff. Even Raph could talk football with him, but Mikey's such a big goof. _

Mary walked up the stairs and stood in the doorway, watching the three. Jessi sat on the futon, scowling as her character took yet another hit. Michelangelo was leaning forward, intent on beating the tar out of some cartoon baddie. Arek was practically bouncing with excitement, yelling in delight every time Michelangelo's character struck the villain. He yelled louder when his sister took yet another hit from a fuzzy pink character carrying a banjo.

"Yeah! Fuzzy got you _good _that time, Jess!" he crowed. Jessica turned, glaring at her brother.

"Shut up, Arek."

"Dude! You are _p'wned!"_ squealed Mike.

Jessi threw the controller down. "I'm done. This is a stupid game," she grumbled.

"Aww, come on. Don't be like that, Dudette." Michelangelo gave her his best puppy-eyes.

Jessi ignored him. "I'm going to go watch tv."

"Hey, wait a minute, guys," said Mary. She walked in and perched on the end of the futon. "Listen, I've got to talk to you all."

"Sure thing, Mikell, what's up?" Michelangelo beamed with the afterglow of victory.

Arek laughed. "What'd you call my mom?"

"It's my screen-name, Buddy," explained Mary. "Mike, you can call me 'Mary'."

"Whatever, Author," said Mike with a grin. "What's up? You were lookin' all Leo there for a minute."

Mary made a face. The _shut up, Mikey_ made it as far as her mind. She shook her head.

"I was thinking, it's great that the kids can see you and all, but my husband isn't really a big fan of ninja turtles," she explained slowly. "Maybe it'd be best if you… stayed out of sight when he gets home, ok?"

"Oh, ok." Mike nodded. "No problem. I'm a ninja. Invisible's what I do best."

_Yeah, because you were real invisible hiding behind that chair._ Mary fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Cool! You can hide in my room," said Arek.

"Awesome! Can I have top bunk, little dude?" Michelangelo's eyes sparkled.

"Sure," said Arek easily. "You wanna play with my monster truck?"

"You have a _truck?_" Mike's eyes widened. "Dude, Donny has the Battle Shell, but a real, live _monster truck…_"

"Not a real truck, Mike. Geez, he's only nine," said Mary. "It's a toy."

"Oh! Ok. Still very cool," said Mike with a grin.

"Let's take it out back." Arek jumped up, infused with the energy only a hyper-active nine year old with an idea can generate.

"Cool." Mike was on his feet and thundering off down the stairs after the boy.

Mary sighed and went into her bedroom where yet another basket of laundry sat on the bed, waiting to be folded. Jessica lay across the bed, glaring at the television as if it were her personal arch nemesis.

"Great," she grumbled to her mother. "Now we have _two_ Areks."

Mary laughed. "I thought you _liked_ the ninja turtles," she teased.

"I like Raph better," said Jessi, flipping the channel. "I bet he doesn't know how to play Power Puff Girls."


	6. Chapter 6 Leather Leads

**A/N: Uh oh.**

**

* * *

**_chapter 6 -Leather Leads-  
~~~_

Leonardo sighed. He couldn't seem to slip into the spiritual plane today. The flight had been canceled and he was stranded on the bamboo mat, listening to the sound of his brother cursing as he searched once more for his wayward leather patches.

_I hope he finds that patch soon_, thought Leonardo. _He sounds pretty mad. Not that it's new for Raph to sound mad, but at least patching his bag would give him something to do besides obsess over where Mike is. _

_Man, the Lair's so quiet without Mike around. Wait a minute, _that's_ why I can't meditate. I'm not used to this much quiet. Maybe I'll ask Don to fix the stereo… I wonder if he _can_ fix it. Raph's sai left a pretty big hole in the speaker…_

***

Donatello could hear the hot-headed turtle's rantings only as a muffled hum through the thick steel of his closed lab door.

_I really should tell Raph how to get the rest of that paint off, _he thought absently. He kept his chuckle behind his teeth with an effort. _But the pink accent looks kind of neat on his shell. Like a racing stripe or something._

He turned back to his computer, bringing up the files for his latest invention.

_It's missing something_, he thought. _It needs something… _he sighed. _Michelangelo would have an idea. He'd probably suggest a laser gun or some ridiculous thing…_ Don sighed, tapping a few keys. _But does a toaster really _need_ laser technology?_

_I wonder what Mike's doing right now. The Lair's so quiet without him._

***

Hamato Raphael was not a happy camper. Not _only_ did he still have that idiotic crooning song stuck in his head, now he couldn't find the leather with which to patch his precious punching-bag, nor could he find the brother he most wanted to use to replace said bag.

Raph slammed the storage-cupboard door. There were simply no leather patches left. The heavy needle and the thread were there, but the space where the leather should've been was empty.

_Leo prolly used it up making that new sheath for his katana,_ thought Raph, scowling. _Leave it ta Fearless ta use it up an' not replace it._

"'m goin' out," he announced loudly.

"Wait, Raph, where're you going?" responded Leo automatically. "It's not even dark out yet."

"I've gotta go an' get some more leather," snapped Raphael.

_**Before you ask me if I'm alright… think about what I had to do… yeah**_**…**

"Raph, you really can't go out in the day light…"

"Can it, Fearless."

Raph shrugged into his worn trench coat and jammed the fedora onto his head. He stalked toward the Lair door.

"Raph, wait. I'll go with you."

"I can _handle_ it, Leo." Raph kept walking.

"You really shouldn't go out alone!"

Raphael let the slam of the door answer for him. Once in the sewers, he broke into a steady jog, heading for April's place.

_Mebbe she has some bits o' leather in dat mess o' a store,_ he mussed. _An' mebbe she has an idea where a certain _idiot_ turtle's hidin'._

Raph stomped his way through several tunnels until he was under the manhole he wanted. He climbed up, deftly moving the cover aside. He was up and out, ducking into the shadows before anyone could notice the oddly-shaped figure his coat-covered form made. The fire escape above him was an easy path… up a few flights, and in through April's kitchen window…

A scream down the alley had Raph turning, reaching for his sai with a growl.

_What da…_

_**Another mess I didn't plan… and I bet you thought you could beat me…**_

A young girl was pressed against the alley wall. Three husky teenagers flanked her, crowding close.

Raph grinned maniacally.

_Finally, some _action_. If I can't find Mike, at least I can take out some o' my frustration on dese punks._

He slipped closer.

"Give us yer money, kid."

"I… I don't have any…"

"Too bad."

One of the boys drew back a fist, threatening.

"Didn't yer Ma ever teach ya not ta hit a lady?" growled Raphael.

The punk turned, his fist still raised. "Mind yer own business!" he snarled.

"If ya go away now, I won't hurt ya," answered Raph.

The boy focused on the figure menacing him from the shadow. Raph moved his sai, deliberately letting the dim light from the first streetlamps of the evening glint off the cold steel.

The kid chuckled. "Think yer a big man, huh? Come on, guys. This one needs to be taught a lesson."

"Bring it on," growled Raph. He watched as the girl slipped away, darting down the alley and running like a hare, her sneakers almost silent on the pavement. The boys paid their fleeing quarry no mind. They had bigger prey now.

The first kid lunged, and Raph's dragon-punch caught him square on the jaw. He dropped like a sack at Raph's feet.

"Come on," Raphael taunted the remaining two. "Ya want some o' dis?"

"You got it," said one of the two, smirking. While Raph was focused on him, his partner attacked, lunging forward with a lightening-quick strike. The blade sank into Raph's side, between his plastron and shell, before he could block the blow.

Fortunately the knife didn't go deep, but Raph yelled in anger and pain. He struck out, his fists like green lightening, laying the two out cold in the dim alley.

_Oh shell,_ thought Raphael. _Don's gonna kill me. I can't believe I let dat kid distract me like dat. Mebbe April has somethin' ta patch _me_ up, too._

With a quick leap, he was up the fire escape. He paused outside April's window, but the apartment was dark.

_Where is she? _He tapped urgently on the glass. No answer. Raph tried the window and found it pushed open easily.

_Sorry, Ape. Guess I'll hafta do a little B&E. I need ta stop dis bleedin'._

He moved carefully through the apartment toward the bathroom. Finding April's extensive first-aid kit, he pressed a bandage to the shallow cut in his side, hissing with the pain.

"Hi-_ya!_"

Raph turned just in time to catch a baseball bat before it smashed his skull in.

"April!" he yelled.

"Raphael!" The startled woman let go the bat and took a step back, her face white and her jade eyes wide. "Raph, what are you _doing?_"

"Tryin' not ta get my head bashed in!" he retorted. "Geeze, Ape!"

"Sorry, Raph," she said. "I didn't expect… I didn't know it was you."

"I guessed dat," he said, smirking. He set the bat down on the sink.

"What're you doing here, anyway?" asked April, her eyes narrowing.

"I got a little nick," explained Raph. "Ya weren't here… at least ya didn't answer da window. I needed ta patch dis up, so I came in. Sorry, Ape."

"No, it's ok, Raph, anytime, you know that," said April. "You guys are always welcome here."

"T'anks, Ape. Hey, you ain't seen Mikey lately, have ya?"

"Mikey? No, not since you guys came over last week for the movie night," said April. Something flickered in her green eyes and Raphael scowled.

"Does ever'body know where he is but me?" he grumbled.

April laughed nervously. "Well, Raph, you did threaten to turn him inside-out. Was the song really _that_ bad?"

"Two _hours,_ April," growled Raphael. "An' it weren't jus' da song." He turned so April could see the pink patch still decorating his shell. "It won't come off."

"Oh…" April clamped a delicate hand over her mouth. A sound suspiciously like a snort escaped through her fingers. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Raphael stared suspiciously at her.

"It ain't _funny_, April," he growled.

April turned away. She was quivering. "No, of course it isn't. I'm sorry, Raph." Her voice was calm. When she faced him again, she was sober. "Do you want help getting that off?" she asked, her expression a picture of innocence.

"No," snapped Raph. "I don't need no help, t'anks."

"Are you sure? Because I bet we could get it off in just a few minutes…" April trailed off, seeing danger flash in Raph's amber eyes.

Whatever retort the turtle was going to make was cut off by Leonardo's voice calling through the apartment.

"Raph! Raphael, are you here?"

"We're in here, Leo," called April.

"Oh, thank goodness," breathed Leonardo, coming into the bathroom. "Raph, you've been gone over an hour. We were starting to worry."

"'m _fine_, Fearless," growled Raphael. "How'd ya find me?"

"Don traced your shell-cell," said Leo. "Did April have the leather you needed?"

"Leather?" asked Raph absently. He pulled his shell-cell out of his belt, turning it over in his hand.

_The tracers… dat's right. Don put dem in all our shell-cells. Even Mike's… _Especially_ Mike's, since he's da most likely ta get lost. _

A grin crossed Raphael's face like the sun coming out. He looked up, into his brother's dark brown eyes.

"Dat's ok, Leo. I t'ink I've got everyt'in I need."


	7. Chapter 7 Kids

_chapter 7 -__Kids-  
~~~_

"Mom, my RC truck's out of batteries!" called Arek.

Mary sighed, closing the review window. "All right," she answered. "Just a minute." She got up and fetched a spare set of batteries, tossing them down to her waiting son. "What's Michelangelo doing?"

"He's settin' up a really cool ramp," Arek answered. "We're gonna jump it. You've gotta come see, Mom, it's the _coolest!_"

"Ok, Bud, in a few minutes," answered Mikell, noticing it was getting on for suppertime. "What about your homework?"

"Awwww, Mom, we're playin'," whined Arek. Mary rubbed her temples against the headache she could feel developing.

A chat window popped up on her screen.

"Ok, Arek, you have half an hour, then you _have_ to start on homework," she called before clicking the window open.

_How are you holding up? _

Mary smiled, recognizing the screen-name.

_We're doing ok,_ she replied. _How's the volcano?_

_Still active._

Mary frowned at that. _How long? _she typed.

_A while. He's still pretty mad. We saw Brynna today._

_Oh?_ Mary couldn't keep back a smirk, or resist teasing a bit. _So, did you confess your undying love yet?_

_Shut up or I'll let the turtle out of the bag._

_Ok, ok,_ typed the author with a giggle. _I was just teasing._

_I get enough of that from my brothers._

_Oh, Don, you know we love you._

_Gotta go. He's coming._

Mary sat back, closing the chat box with a grin.

_I sure hope Don closed it quick enough on his end,_ she thought. _I'd hate for Raph to find out where Mike's hiding out._

She headed down the stairs and out the back door. After about ten minutes of admiring Arek and Mike's version of an RC skatepark, she sternly reminded Arek about his homework.

"Awww, _Mom_," grouched Arek.

"Oh, it's ok, Micro-Dude. I'll help ya," said Mikey with a grin.

"Are you _sure, _Mike?" asked Mary. "He's got to do math…"

"Its not _hard_, Mikell," answered Michelangelo, scowling. "I mean, I'm not Donny or nothin', but I'm not stupid."

"I know, Mike," said Mary soothingly. "I just… Oh, well, if you want to help, I guess it would be ok. Just remember he has to do the work for himself. You can't give him the answers."

"I know." Mike grinned. "Come on, Dude, let's go."

Mary shook her head, watching the pair head indoors. _I'm going to regret letting them work together, I just know it,_ she thought.

***

Inside, Michelangelo sat at the table with Arek, spreading out the contents of his book-bag.

"Let's see, you'll need a pencil with a big eraser… Hey, this eraser's kinda yellow. Don'tcha have an orange eraser? Orange is cooler, Dude."

"I think so," said Arek enthusiastically. "Let me check my desk."

Ten minutes later, the blond returned with a triumphant smile and a bright orange eraser.

"Cool!" crowed Mike. "Now let's see. You can't work without a snack, right?"

"Right." Arek agreed readily.

"So, what's your mom got to snack on?" asked Michelangelo.

"I think there's some ice-cream," suggested Arek.

"Mondo!" cried Mike. He got up and fixed two heaping bowls. "There, little Bud, just don't drip on your paper, ok?"

"Ok." Arek stuffed a large scoop of ice-cream in his mouth.

"Oh! Oh, man! Brain-freeze!" squealed Mikey, dancing around the kitchen and holding his head. Arek turned in his chair, watching the turtle's antics wide-eyed. A laugh bubbled up out of him, he couldn't help it.

Michelangelo shot him a wounded look. "Dude, laughin' at a guy in pain. Un-cool."

"Sorry," said Arek, but his eyes still danced with laughter. "Drink some warm water."

"Gross! Why would I do that?"

"It helps. I saw it on Mythbusters," said Arek.

Michelangelo gave him a suspicious look, but drew a glass of warm water from the sink and took a few gulps. His eyes widened.

"Wow. It really does work. You're pretty smart, Bud."

"Thanks," said Arek, turning back to his task.

"My bro Donny's smart, too," said Mikey, sitting down at the table.

"I'd like to have brothers. All I have is a dorky sister," said Arek.

"Hey!" yelled Jessica. She'd come into the kitchen just in time to hear her brother's remark.

"You are," he said.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Time out!" cried Michelangelo. "You guys are like… siblings. You're supposed to _like_ each other."

Jessica sniffed. "The way you and Raph _like_ each other?" she asked.

Michelangelo blushed. "Well, that's kinda different, see, Raph has no discernable sense of humor, and…"

"And you painted him _pink_," said Jessica, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You did?" Arek's grin stretched from ear to ear. "Raphael's pink now?"

"Not anymore," said Michelangelo, fervently hoping it was true. "The paint was washable."

Jessica snorted. "You'd better hope so," she said.

"I'm pretty sure it was," said Mike, beginning to sweat.

"Well, Mom says you can stay here until he calms down," said Jessica. "I guess I'd better get used to having _two_ brothers."

Arek laughed. "That'd be cool," he said. "You can stay as long as you want, Mike."

"Aww, you guys are nice," said Mikey, forcing a smile.

_But I miss my family. I miss Donny and his crazy inventions, and Leo. He'd play Road Rage with me. It's fun being better than Leo at one thing at least. And Splinter… I miss Dad a lot. Even Raph. Life's no fun without him to tease. Hmm… I wonder what Mikell'd do if I played a prank on her? _

_On second thought, better not. She might write another story about me._

The back door swung open. Michelangelo was disappearing into the next room before Mary came into the kitchen.

"It's ok, Mikey, it's just Mom," called Arek. The ninja reappeared.

"Hiya, Mikell," he said with a grin.

"How's the homework coming?" asked the author.

"Oh, uh, I guess we got a little distracted," said Michelangelo, fidgeting a bit. The look Mikell was giving him reminded him strongly of Splinter's stern gaze, the one he reserved for when Mikey wanted to try a move he'd learned from watching YouTube or pro wrestling.

"Well, get _un_-distracted," she said. "Arek's got to get his work done."

"Ok." Michelangelo sat at the table again. "What's the first problem, little Dude?"

"Math is stupid," said Arek, slapping his pencil down. "I don't need math to be a ninja, do I?"

"I… umm…"

"'Cause when I grow up, I wanna be a ninja," declared the human boy, beaming at his friend. Mikell was frowning.

Michelangelo swallowed hard and thought fast.

"I bet Donny'd say you need math to figure out… umm… the physics of a kata," he said, floundering a bit.

"I thought you wanted to be a fireman," said Jessica.

"I do." Arek beamed. "I wanna be a ninja-fireman."

Michelangelo's eyes lit up. "Cool!" he cried, in spite of himself.

Arek's mother shook her head. Michelangelo was sure he heard her mutter something about _kids._ He felt a pang.

_Aw, man. I sure do miss Splinter,_ he thought. _I wonder how they're doing without me?_


	8. Chapter 8 The R Team

**A/N: Only a couple chaps left to go... I figured since I'm going away this weekend, I'd leave you a little something to remember me by. ;)  
**

**And yeah, if you hadn't guessed... I was a huge fan of a certain action/adventure show back in the day.**  
**"If you've got a problem, if no one else can help, and... if you can find them, maybe you can hire The *R* Team" LOL**

**

* * *

**_chapter 8 -The *R* Team-  
~~~_

Hamato Raphael was not above using blackmail if it suited him. He'd use threats, too, if they were more effective. Between his sai and his muscles, he rarely had much trouble manipulating his brothers when he had to. The fact that he didn't use the power often only made him a stronger force to be reckoned with.

"Umm, Raph, are you _sure_ you want to visit Mikell _this_ weekend?" asked Don, glancing nervously at Leonardo. Raph could almost hear the thought cross his younger brother's mind.

_L'il help here, bro?_

"Yeah, Raph, you know Mikell hates it when we just drop in on her," said Leonardo. "She hasn't been in a very good mood. You gave her a pretty hard time in your last fic."

"What, jus' cause I didn't fall all over swoonin' like Mike did wit' Austin?" Raph made a face. "How was I supposed ta know she was writin' a romance?"

Leonardo gave him a look. "Raph, it's a _series._ What did you _think_ she was writing?"

"Well, she's been hangin' out wit' dat Katie so much, I figured it was just another 'torture Raph' fic," growled Raphael.

Ha. He'd struck a nerve. Guilt flashed in Leo's dark eyes.

"A turtle deserves a little vacation now an' den, ya know. An' besides, you guys all got ta hang out wit' her da las' time. I didn't," wheedled Raph. He watched Leo's eyes narrow with suspicion.

"I jus' wanna _talk_ ta her," said Raph, scowling. "Geez, Leo. I ain't still mad at 'er."

"Well… This might not be a good time for her, Raph," said Leonardo. "We should call first at least."

"Ya can call if ya want," said Raph, crossing his arms over his plastron. Triumph shone in his eyes.

_Go ahead. Warn the little weasel I'm comin'. Let him sweat it out._

Donatello's relief was almost palpable. "Sure, I'll give her a call," he said a little too quickly. "To give her time to… prepare."

_It won't do him any good. I'll find him, no matter where he hides,_ thought Raph, stifling his smirk with an effort.

"C'mon," he said, turning to door. "Let's get goin' Donny, or it'll be midnight before we get there."

"Wait, Raph, I'm coming too," said Leo quickly. "I haven't seen Mikell in a while. It'll be nice, you know, just the three of us…"

"Yeah," said Raph with a grin. "Jus' da _three_ of us."

***

Four hours into the drive, Donny's nervous fidgeting finally pushed Raph over the edge.

"_Shell_, Genius, can't you sit _still?_"

"Oh! Oh, sorry." Donatello blushed. Still, his fingers tapped on the steering wheel.

"Don. Relax," said Raph, deliberately quieting his tone. "Yer not da one I'm after."

"What? What are you talking about?" Donatello shot him a nervous glance.

"Raph…" Leo leaned forward from the seat behind his brother.

"Can it, Fearless," growled Raphael, turning to glare at the leader. "I know Mikey's hidin' out wit' Mikell. I know you two are tryin' ta protect 'im."

Donatello glanced over, sizing his brother up. Leonardo had the good grace to look a little embarrassed.

"Why're ya protectin' him, anyway?" growled Raph, sitting back in his seat.

"We just didn't want you to… you know, _hurt_ him," said Don, glancing at his hot-headed older brother. "You were pretty mad."

"Well, he _deserves_ ta have his shell pounded in," grumbled Raph darkly.

"Raph…" Leo started. Raphael held up his hand, cutting off whatever lecture Leonardo had in mind.

"I ain't gonna _hurt_ him," he growled.

_Much._

"He's my _brother,_ Leo."

"What are you going to do?" asked Leonardo suspiciously.

"Well, I was t'inkin' of a little _justice_, that's all," said Raphael with a smirk. "Nothin' too _painful_."

Something in Leonardo relaxed. "Well, Mike has caused an awful lot of trouble this week," he said slowly.

"An Donny, he broke dat thing-a-ma-bob in yer lab," Raph reminded his other brother.

"It took me three days to recalibrate the scanner's system," said Don thoughtfully.

"So yer in?" Raph asked casually, reeling them in like fish.

Don and Leo exchanged glances.

"Well… as long as you're not going to _hurt_ him," said Leo slowly.

"O' course not. He's my baby brother," said Raph.

"You'll have to be careful. If he knows you know he's there, he'll run," said Don. "You'll have to set a trap. Let him think you're ok, not mad anymore…"

"I can do that." Raph smirked, cracking his knuckles.

"Lull him into a false sense of security," Don continued. Raph could see the light of invention turning over in Donatello's head. He'd been issued a challenge, and if there was one thing his brainy brother couldn't resist, it was a chance to outwit an adversary.

Raph sat back in the seat, letting a smirk play across his face.

_I love it when a plan comes together._

***

When the trio arrived at the modest little farmhouse, Raph let Leo go to the door first. He and Don held back.

"You made her nervous the first time you met her, Raph," said Leo reasonably. "Better let me talk to her. You know, let her know we're here."

"Yeah. 'Sides, me an' Donny can catch Mike if he tries sneakin' out da back," said Raphael with a smirk. Leonardo gave him a hard look.

"Remember, Raph, you said you wouldn't hurt him."

"Relax, Fearless," said Raphael.

Leo nodded reluctantly and went to the door.

Raph watched as the blue-masked turtle exchanged a few rapid words with the author. He smirked as her face went quite pale. She glanced toward the barn where the Battle Shell was concealed from passersby and neighbors. Finally she nodded. Leonardo gestured toward his brothers. Don glanced at Raph and swallowed hard. Raphael met his gaze steadily.

"Ya ain't gonna wuss out on me, are ya, Genius?" he asked.

Don's gaze hardened into determination. "Let's do this," he said.

The pair sauntered across the lawn.

"Hi, Mikell," said Don with a smile.

"Hiya, Author," said Raph.

"H… hi, Raph. Don. Come on in." The author forced a smile and led the three turtles inside. A short-legged dog leapt to her feet, growling. A second dog barked, her noise echoing inside the crate where she was confined.

"Shut up, Nellie," said Mary automatically. "Bella, _down_."

"What's up wit' da wiener-dog?" asked Raph, grinning. "What's wrong wit' her legs?"

"Nothing's _wrong_ with her, Raph," said Mary indignantly. "She's a basset hound. She's _supposed_ to be short."

"Why's this one in a crate?" asked Leonardo. He pressed his fingers against the wire. Nellie licked him eagerly, her pink tongue slipping through the bars.

"You can let her out, but we'll have to take her outside for a minute," said Mary, smiling. "She's a little bit of a nut-case, so we keep her crated when she can't be with one of us."

"Aww, poor dog," said Raph. He hated to see any living thing in a cage.

Mary shook her head. "She goes in on her own, Raph," she explained. "She likes her crate. She's not closed in for most of the day. I just had her shut in because Mi… I mean, because we had… um, a visitor earlier."

Raph looked up, meeting the author's eyes with a smirk.

"I know he's here, Mikell."

The author swore mildly, shooting a betrayed look at Leonardo.

"It's ok, Mikell," said the leader. "He promised not to hurt him."

She looked suspiciously at Raph. He just smiled. Mikell did not look reassured.

"Raphael," she said firmly. "I've promised to protect Mikey. There will be _no_ bloodshed in my house."

"Geeze, Author, don't get yer knickers in a knot," growled Raph. "I ain't gonna hurt my _brother._"

Mary gave him a wary look, but nodded her acceptance. Truce called, terms agreed, at least temporarily.

"So," said Leonardo. "Where is Mikey?"

"He's out back somewhere, playing with Arek," said the author. "He got an RC truck for Christmas, that thing's his pride and joy." She grinned. "Mike's just as enthusiastic about it as Arek is."

"I'll bet," said Don with a grin.

"So, can I get you guys… something to drink? Or eat? It's getting on for supper time," said Mikell. "Oh, crud! My husband will be home soon."

"I t'ought he had a meetin' tonight," said Raph, scowling.

"Oh! Oh, you're right," said Mikell. "He's got his fireman's meeting tonight. He won't be home until late. How'd you know?"

"Donny keeps track on 'is computer," said Raph gruffly. "You write more on nights he's not home."

"That's true. Man, you guys really are nosy, you know that?" The author scowled.

"Well, you're writing us into stories!" said Don. "We've got to know when to expect more action."

"I guess. Well, I'd better do something about supper. You guys are staying, right?"

"Umm…" Leonardo glanced at his brothers. Raphael shrugged. Don looked hopeful.

"You'd be welcome, Leo," said Mary.

Leonardo smiled. "Ok, if you want," he said. "At least let us help…"

"No!" All three cried at once. Mary burst out laughing.

"Sorry, Leo. There's no junkyard nearby to scavenge parts from, so I can't afford to have my appliances destroyed."

Leonardo flushed. "Ok, sure," he said, sounding slightly miffed.

"Well, you could… set the table," said Mary, trying to soothe his wounded feelings.

"Ok, no problem," said Leonardo. He started fetching plates from the cupboard. Donatello hid a smirk. Raph didn't bother.

"So… we had pizza for lunch. I've got… well let's see…" Mary dug through the freezer. "I've got burgers. We could throw them on the grill." She pulled a huge package of burgers out of the freezer. "And we harvested the garden yesterday."

"You have a garden?" Leo turned, his eye-ridges rising in surprise.

"I do have other hobbies besides fan-fiction," retorted the author with a smile. "We have spaghetti squash and zucchini, tomatoes, carrots, onions and green beans planted this year."

"We could put together a salad if you had any lettuce," said Donatello.

"I do," said Mary with a smile.

"I'll do that," said Don.

"Cool. I'll get the grill started up." She stuck the burgers in the microwave to thaw.

"I'll help ya wit' dat," said Raph.

"Umm, Ok, if you want," said Mary a little nervously. She led the red-banded turtle out to the front porch. "You should be ok out here," she said, glancing across the street at the neighbor's house. "Nobody's home from work, and anyway, we're kind of sheltered here."

Raph nodded, smirking at the way her hand shook as she turned on the propane.

"There's really not much to this," she said, pushing a button to light the flame. "We just want to let it heat up first." She turned the knobs down.

"So, where're da kids?" asked Raphael.

The fierce look the author shot him was the first spirit she'd shown.

"Why?" she asked. Raph noticed the defensive stance she'd taken and the way her hands balled into fists.

"Geez, relax," he said. "I was jus' wonderin', ya know."

"Sorry. I'm just a little… defensive about my kids, I guess," she said, relaxing slightly. "Arek's out back with Mike. Jessi's upstairs. In fact, you should go up and say hello. She's dying to meet you."

"Really?" His amber eyes widened in surprise.

It was Mary's turn to smirk. "Yep. You're her favorite."

"Oh, great. She… she don't write fan-fiction, does she?"

"Not yet, but she loves reading it," said Mary. "What's the matter, Raph? Do twelve-year-old girls make you nervous?"

"Only when they write like Katie," said Raph warily.

"Katie's not twelve."

"Yeah, well. As long as yer kid ain't gonna write like _her_, I'll be nice ta 'er."

"You'd better be," said Mary, giving him a _look_.

Raph took an involuntary step backward, seized by a sudden chill.

"Umm I think I'll jus' go up an'… say 'hi'," he said.

"You do that," said Mary, smiling.


	9. Chapter 9 New Friends

**A/N: Only one chapter to go after this... Don't worry, I won't allow blood to stain my carpets!  
heh  


* * *

**_chapter 9 -New Friends-_  
~~~

_Note to self,_ thought Raphael, climbing the stairs. _Do not mess wit' Author's kids._

He mounted the last few steps and turned the corner. Lying across the bed, glaring at a television as if it had offended her was a red-haired girl.

_Whoa. She's pretty,_ thought Raph, cocking his head to examine her profile. _Red hair like her ma. Hope she ain't got da same temper ta go wit' it._

"Hi, kid," he said gruffly.

The girl's head whipped around, startled. "Oh, hi, Mike," she said absently, turning back to the cooking show she was watching. An instant later she was sitting up, squealing.

"Holy _snap!_" she shrieked.

Raph backed away, startled.

"What?"

"Hi! Raphael! Wow, I can't believe you're actually _here!_" The kid was grinning so widely, Raph was sure she'd hurt herself. "You've always been my favorite!"

Raphael stood staring, taken aback. Far from being nervous or intimidated by him, she was grinning as if she were actually _happy_ to see him. It wasn't a reaction he was used to.

"So, uh, Kid, what's yer name?" he asked, recovering his composure.

"Jessica," she supplied with another grin. "Do you wanna watch tv with me?"

"Uh, not right now, Kid… er, Jessica," he answered. "I… we came ta get my brother."

"Yeah, he's annoying, huh?" Jessica scowled. "I have a little brother, too. Mikey's almost as bad as Arek!"

"'Almost' as bad?" asked Raph with a smirk.

"Yep. Arek's worse." Jessica shook her head. "Just be glad you've only got one little brother like Mikey. I've got Arek, _plus_ his friend Brody. It's like having two little brothers."

"_I_ have two little brothers, too," said Raphael.

"I know, but Donatello's cool," said Jessica with a giggle. "He builds things and fixes stuff. Mikey's the only spaz."

"Dat's true." Raph chuckled, settling himself on the foot of the bed. "So, you like pink?" he asked.

"It's ok," she said, "but I like purple better."

_Dis kid jus' gets better an' better._

"Do you know you've still got paint on your shell?" asked Jessica.

Raph scowled. "I know," he growled.

"You want help getting that off?" she asked. She tilted her head, considering. "Pink goes good with dark green, but you don't usually wear pink, do you? I mean, you're like, the tough guy. Tough guys don't wear pink."

Raph felt his face getting nearly as red as his mask.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," he said.

"Come on." She stood up and grabbed his elbow, not at all phased by touching a giant, mutated turtle. "Mom's got some rags in the bathroom." She led him firmly into the little bathroom off the office. Raph stood watching, amused, while she wet a cloth and got some soap. She scrubbed the paint-spot with the rag, carefully removing the paint from the crevices until there was no trace of the pink patch left.

"Wow, ya got it all off, huh? T'anks," he said, twisting to check her work.

"Use the mirror," she advised.

"Oh, yeah." Raph turned so that he could see his shell in the bathroom mirror. "Looks good."

"Jessi, is Raphael up there with you? Supper's about ready!" called Mary up the stairs.

"Yeah, we're coming Mom," called Jessi.

"Great, I'm starvin'," said Raph.

"So, what're you gonna do to Mike?" asked Jessica.

"Oh, I dunno," said Raph, startled. "I had ta promise my bros I wouldn't hurt him."

She looked disappointed. "Well, maybe you can prank him," she said.

"I had an idea or two," said Raph with a smirk.

"Cool." She matched his expression. "Can I help?"

"Sure, Kid," said Raph with a grin.

_Shell, I like dis kid. _

The pair headed downstairs.

Michelangelo _eeeped_ when Raphael walked into the kitchen, and ducked behind his eldest brother.

"Relax, Mikey, I told you, Raph's ok," said Leonardo firmly.

"Yeah, Mike, I ain't mad at ya no more," said Raph easily. "See, da paint all came off."

"It did?" asked Donatello, surprised.

"Yep." Raph smirked.

"I helped him get it off," said Jessica. "Hi Don. Hi, Leo."

"Hello," said Leonardo formally.

"Hi," said Donatello with a shy smile.

"I had no idea my kids would be able to see you guys," said Mary, shaking her head with a smile. "This is weird, in a cool sort of way."

"Hey, Mike, ya wanna go down to the creek with me?" Arek piped up, dashing into the room. He skidded to a halt when he saw the red-banded turtle. "Mikey, _run,_" he called, his blue eyes going wide.

"Hey!" protested Raph. "He's my _brother._"

"It's ok, Arek, Raphael's not going to hurt Mikey," said Jessica. Raph caught her smirk before it vanished into an innocent smile.

"Are you sure? 'Cause Mikey got paint all over him," said Arek suspiciously. He went to stand beside Michelangelo, putting himself in front of the orange-banded turtle as if he would shield him.

"No one's going to get hurt," said Mary firmly, shooting Raph a warning glance. "Sit down, guys. The salad's ready and the burgers are on the table."

The meal passed in organized chaos as everyone ate their fill, laughing and talking.

"So, what's the big secret you're going to reveal in _Leonardo's Angel_?" asked Donatello.

"What are you talking about, Don?" asked Mary, glaring. "You haven't been hacking my files again, have you?"

The purple-banded turtle blushed. "Umm… well I kind of saw a snippet of a chat between you and Katie, and you were hinting at a big secret and…" he stammered.

"_Hamato Donatello!" _ Mary's voice snapped like the crack of a whip. "Stay _out_ of my computer! If I wanted you to know, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Sorry," muttered Don.

"Oh! I know about the secret!" said Jessica, her eyes shining.

"Jess! Don't _tell_ him!" snapped Mary.

"I won't, Mom." Jessica rolled her eyes.

Donatello looked at her thoughtfully.

"No bribing the kids, Don," Mary scolded.

Donatello sighed. "Ok," he agreed.

"Don't worry. It's a good surprise," said Mary with a mischievous smile that earned her a dark look from the turtle.

"So, Mike, ya wanna play a game," asked Raphael.

Mary looked up. There'd been a definite sharpening in attention in the other two brothers. Raph glanced at the suspicious author.

"I thought we could… ya know, play hide-an'-seek wit' da kids. What's dat game Arek likes? Manhunt? We could play Turtle-hunt," he said with a grin.

"Like hide-and-seek in the dark. Sure," Mary nodded. "As long as the kids aren't out too late. They've got school in the morning."

"Cool!" yelled Arek.

"Sounds like a good training exercise," said Leo, nodding.

"Um, Ok, I guess," said Mike, glancing a bit nervously at his older brother. Raphael just smiled.

"I'll clear up. Go, have fun," said Mary with a smile.

"Ok, cool. See ya, Mom," said Arek, already half-way out the door.

"Are you sure, Mom?" asked Jessica, hesitating.

"Yeah, we can help, Mikell," said Donatello.

"No, go on," said Mary. "It's already getting dark."

"Awesome," said Jessi with a grin. "Let's go."

"Would you mind if I had a look at your garden?" asked Donatello.

"Sure, go ahead," said Mary, carrying plates to the sink. "But there's nothing edible left in it. We harvested it this weekend. All that's left are a few rotten tomatoes we didn't get to in time, and I think a couple squash that bugs got into, too."

She was busy turning on the water and reaching for the soap, and so missed the flash of unholy glee that crossed Raphael's features.

"Come on, guys," he said, giving Mike his most innocent grin. Michelangelo didn't look convinced.

"Um, maybe I'll just… help Mikell with the dishes," he muttered.

"Come on, Mike," said Leonardo, grabbing his youngest brother by the arm. "You slacked off training this morning."

"Yeah, Mike, it'll be fun," Donatello said, taking his other arm. "Let's go."

"Ok," said Mike reluctantly. He allowed himself to be led outside. Raphael was already out in the yard, leaning over to talk to Jessica.

"Come on, Mike! You an' me can be on a team!" called Arek.

"Cool, Micro-Dude," said Michelangelo, his spirits perking up. "Race ya to the woods!"

Raph smiled, watching his youngest brother disappear into the trees. _Yep. Dis is workin' out perfectly,_ he thought.

"Come on, Jessi, let's git our ammo," he said with a grin.

Jessica returned his smirk with a maniacal smile of her own. She led the red-banded turtle over to the garden and started gathering spoiled vegetables into a bucket.

"Raph, just what do you have in mind?" asked Leonardo, watching the pair gleefully collecting rotting vegetation.

"Don't worry, Fearless. I _said_ I wouldn't hurt 'im," Raph answered. Jessica giggled.

"Why don't you two go on an' start playin' da game," said Raph to his brothers. "Jessi an' me'll catch up. Make sure Arek's out o' da way, ok? Mikell'll have my shell if he gets in da middle o' dis."

"Ok, Raph, just remember, _no injuries,_" said Leo sternly. He and Don jogged off toward the woods.

"Oh, don't worry, Fearless. I ain't gonna _hurt_ 'im," said Raph under his breath. Jessica giggled again.

"We got enough?" asked Raphael.

"I think so," said Jessica, hefting the bucket.

"Good. Can ya carry dat to da woods? I'll go get Mikey," said Raphael.

"Sure. I'll see you out there," said Jessica.

Raph headed into the woods. He could hear Leonardo and Donatello calling to each other, playfully trash-talking, and Arek's high, piping voice. Soon he heard Michelangelo, from a bit further into the trees.

"Hey, Micro-Dude, where are ya?" he called.

_There you are, Mike. Dat's right, jus' keep yellin',_ thought Raphael, slipping through the trees.

"Arek? Don? Leo? Dudes!" called Mikey, his voice rising slightly with the beginnings of panic.

Raph smirked as he approached the hyper young turtle. _Jus' a little closer…_

"Leo!" called Mikey again. Raphael was close enough now to hear him sigh.

"I sure hope there aren't any wild animals out here," grumbled Michelangelo. "They'd feel real bad if I got lost an' a bear got me or somethin'…"

"Or a brother," growled Raph, making his voice low and menacing.

"EEEEEEEEEP!" squealed Mikey. He turned to face his hot-headed brother. "Geez, Raph, you scared the _shell_ offa me!"

"Hi, Mikey," said Raph, smiling.

Michelangelo went a shade paler, glancing around for an escape route. Before he could bolt, Raph pounced. In an instant, he had his younger brother pinned on the forest floor. He stared into Mike's blue eyes and smirked. Michelangelo squirmed.

"Umm, you're not… still mad about… about that… um… little joke, are you, Bro?" asked Mike.

"Nah," said Raph, still smirking. "We're jus' playin' a friendly little _game,_ remember?"


	10. Chapter 10 Boys Will be Boys

**A/N: Haha! Scared ya, didn't I? Don't worry... Mike will get out of this in one piece. Happy endings, remember? ;)  


* * *

**_chapter 10 -Boys Will be Boys-  
~~~_

Mary Mikell finished washing the dishes and stacked them to dry in the rack. She hummed as she wiped the table and countertops down with a damp cloth and stacked the meager leftovers in the 'fridge.

_Where on earth am I going to put the boys if they stay the night?_ She wondered. _I suppose they could use the kids' bunks. Jessi and Arek sleep in the living room half the time anyway. Hmm, they've been gone almost an hour. Maybe I should check on them. Raphael's up to something, I'm almost sure of it. _A familiar wail reached her ears, and she sighed.

_Arek. I wonder who made him mad?_ _Probably his sister._

"MOM!" The back door slammed open.

"What's the matter, Buddy?" called Mary, keeping her tone calm even though the anguish in her son's voice made her want to _hurt_ someone. Preferably the someone who'd caused this breakdown in his emotional status-quo. She had to remind herself sometimes of Arek's tendency to get disproportionately upset over minor offenses.

"I can't find Mikey!" yelled the distraught little boy.

"What do you mean, you can't find him? I thought you guys were playing?"

"We were. But Michelangelo disappeared and Donatello and Leonardo won't help me look for him!"

"They won't?" Mary stared at her upset son, perplexed. "I thought the point of the game was to find one another in the dark?"

"It _is,_" said Arek. "They wanted to play a _different_ game. Raph and Jessica came up with it. They want to go around the woods making _animal_ noises."

"Animal noises?"

"Uh-huh. Like… bears an' stuff."

"Hmmm." Understanding dawned on the author. "Listen, Arek, why don't you go put a movie on? I'll go out and find Mikey. I bet he'd like to watch a movie with you while the others play their game, ok?"

"Ok." The little boy sniffed. "Can we make pop-corn?"

"When I come back in with Mike, ok, Buddy?"

"Ok." He headed off for the living room.

Mary watched him go with a grim smile.

_So, Raph wants to play games, hmm? _

She slipped a jackknife into her pocket and grabbed her cane and a flashlight. Knowing the woods as well as she did, it wasn't hard to slip past the growling and snarling pack of "animals" roving through the woods. It didn't take her long to make her way deeper into the pines, to the part of the little patch of forest the kids referred to as "creepy". Sure enough, she soon came upon the most pitiful sight she'd ever seen.

Michelangelo was standing, his back against a pine tree. A gag had been wrapped firmly around his beak, but she could hear muffled whimpers coming from the young turtle. Mary approached cautiously. When she inadvertently stepped on a twig with a loud _snap_, he jumped, a strangled _eep!_ sounding from behind the gag.

"Mikey!" she called softly.

Michelangelo squirmed, jerking at the tree as if he were trying to pull it over. Coming closer, Mary realized his hands were tied behind his shell, around the tree, effectively fastening him to the trunk. She flashed the beam of her small flashlight over his face and saw that he'd been blindfolded with his own mask as well as gagged.

"Mikey," she called again, "It's ok, it's me. I'm going to get you out of this, but you've got to be _quiet._ If Raph catches us, we're _both _toast."

The turtle's frantic struggles ceased. He slumped against the tree, trembling, every muscle tense. Mary approached cautiously. She had no desire to be floored by a ninja's kick.

"Hang on, let me get that blindfold off," she said before reaching up to slide the mask off his eyes. Wide blue eyes stared into the dim light from the half-moon. Mary stepped back, seeing the panic in his expression, and shone the light on her own face.

"See, it's me. Ok?" He nodded. Mary tugged the gag off of his mouth. "Are you ok?" she whispered.

"Y…yeah," he managed, gulping deep breaths of the night air. Rustling from nearby had them both frozen.

"Snap. We've got to get out of here," muttered the author. She moved around the tree.

"Don't leave me," squeaked Mike.

"I wouldn't," said Mary calmly. "Just relax. I'll have to cut these ropes. He tied them pretty tight." She sawed through the ropes, wincing at how cold Mike's hands felt under her fingers. Raph had gotten a bit over-zealous with his restraints.

"Come on, let's get out of here. I saw a bucket of rotten vegetables on my way into the woods," she whispered grimly. "I think he was going to get you back for the paint."

"Oh _shell_." Michelangelo rolled his shoulders, loosening the sore muscles.

"How long were you back here?" asked Mary.

"I dunno. But I kept hearin' animals an' stuff," mumbled Mike.

Mary took his hand. "Come on. Arek's looking for you inside."

"Why? Is he gonna tie me up, too?" asked Michelangelo a shade bitterly.

"Mike, you did tie your brother to a chair. You do know it was _two hours_ before Leo and Don found him, right?"

"Umm… yeah, I guess," said Mike sheepishly.

"Come on."

Mary led the turtle through the woods, around the ATV trail her husband had made, and back to the house.

"Arek's got the television set up in his closet," said Mary softly. "Why don't you guys sit in there and watch tv? I'll make some popcorn. And if Raph asks, I have no idea where you got off to."

"Thanks, Mikell," said Michelangelo with the faintest of grins returning to his face.

Mary saw the boys tucked safely into their hiding place with a large bowl of popcorn before calmly brewing herself a cup of tea. She settled down at the table to wait.

Jessica came in first, looking peeved.

"What's up?" asked her mother.

"It's late. I'm going to bed," said Jess. She gave her mom a hug and headed off for her room.

Mary smiled. She finished her tea. After one last check found both Arek and Michelangelo curled up on the floor of the closet sound asleep, and Jessica tucked safely into her bed, Mary went upstairs to bed herself. The other boys knew their way back inside perfectly well, and she trusted to their ninja skills to get themselves to bed undetected by her husband.

A couple hours later, after Ken had come home and was safely snoring, Mary heard a faint _thud_ and a curse announcing the other turtles' return. She smirked in the dark.

_Serves him right,_ she thought, recognizing the voice still muttering as the turtles slipped into Arek's room and took over the bunk bed.

_Maybe this will teach them _all_ to lay off the pranks. I'll never know how Splinter puts up with them. They're such a bunch of _boys.

Morning came and went in another blur. Jessica was up first, as always, to catch her early bus. Ken got up and went to work, never noticing four ninjas hiding out in his children's rooms. Arek got up and went to school with minimal whining after Donatello promised him a ride in the Battle Shell when he got home.

"I really wanted a ride on Raph's bike," grumbled Arek.

"Sorry, Kid. Mebbe next time," growled Raphael.

Mikell just shook her head. As soon as her family had left for the day, she set about whipping up a huge batch of apple-sauce pancakes. Raph brightened considerably at the sight of the food.

"Hey, where's Michelangelo, anyway?" asked Donatello finally. He glanced nervously at Raphael. Leonardo was glaring at the red-banded turtle.

"You _said_ you weren't going to hurt him, Raph," he growled.

"I didn't do _not'in_ ta 'im, Fearless," returned Raphael, glaring. "I _tol'_ ya, I lost 'im in da dark. I'll go out after breakfast an' find 'im."

"I can't believe you _forgot_ which tree you tied him to," snapped Leo.

"You tied Mikey to a _tree?_" Mary turned around to glare at Raphael, her hands on her hips. "Raph, how could you?"

"It was jus' supposed ta be a joke," answered Raph. "We were makin' animal noises ta make 'im t'ink there were bears an' stuff." he smirked.

"Raphael, there _are_ bears around here," Mary informed him. She watched as the turtle's faces all turned a shade paler.

"What are you going to tell Splinter?" asked Leonardo faintly. He was staring at Raph now, his dark eyes wide with horror. "Raph, if a bear got to Mikey…"

"But we didn't even t'row da vegetables at 'im," said Raph. He jumped up so fast his chair tipped over backward, startling Bella who yipped and darted out of the room. "It wouldn't eat 'im, right?"

"Relax, Raphael, I don't think black bears get big enough to see a two-hundred pound turtle as a potential meal," said Donatello calmly. His chocolate-brown eyes flickered with worry behind his mask. "Still, maybe we'd better go out and get him."

"You are all idiots," scolded Mary in her best annoyed-mother voice. "I can't believe you would leave your baby brother out in the woods _all night_. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"It was jus' supposed ta be a prank," said Raph, heading for the back door.

"Hey, Raphy, where ya goin?" Michelangelo walked into the kitchen, stretching. He yawned. "Oh! Pancakes!"

"Good morning, Mike," said Mary calmly. "There's more syrup in the 'fridge."

"Cool." The orange-banded turtle got the syrup and sat down at the empty place at the table. He piled pancakes on his plate before glancing up to meet the three dumbfounded stares of his brothers. "What?"

Raphael was the first to find his voice. "Mikey? How… where did ya come from, Bro?"

"I was sleepin'," said Michelangelo around a mouthful of pancakes. "Arek has the _best_ closet I ever saw. He's got a little tv in there and everything."

"You were… in the closet?" asked Don, frowning.

"Yep. Slept like a hatchling." Michelangelo stuffed another forkful of pancakey goodness into his mouth.

"You were…" Raphael scowled, his amber eyes narrowing behind the red mask.

Mikey was too busy shoveling pancakes in his mouth to notice the signs of impending brotherly doom. Mary was a little more perceptive.

"Raph, wait," said the author, moving between him and his brother. "You're _not_ starting this all up again." She gave him a stern look. Raphael returned it with a full-on glare.

Michelangelo, realizing the danger, was on his feet in an instant, ducking behind the author.

"Aww, Raphy, you're not _still_ mad, are you?" he asked, peeking over Mary's shoulder at his brother.

"_Two hours, _Michelangelo," snarled Raph, advancing. Donatello and Leonardo watched the exchange, but hesitated, both seeming uncertain which side they should take.

"Raph, come on. I think Mike realizes what he did was wrong," said Mary. "Besides, Jessi got the paint off your shell, right?"

"I guess," said Raph. His amber glare was still on his younger brother. His hands twitched toward his sai.

"Mike, why don't you take the dogs out back?" Mary suggested gently. "Give Raph a minute, ok?"

"Umm, sure, Dudette, whatever you say." Michelangelo nabbed the dog's leashes off the back of the chair and ducked through the door, calling for the dogs.

"He ain't gettin' off dat easy," growled Raphael, frustrated.

"Raph," said Leonardo slowly. "Did you… see Mike's shell?"

"What about it, Fearless?"

"It… he…" Leo fell into helpless giggles.

"What?" Raphael growled.

"Come here, Raph. I'll show you," said Mary with a grin. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. "I took a picture last night, while he was sleeping."

Raph stared at the tiny screen. "Is dat…?"

"Yep. In gold glitter, too."

Raphael stared for another moment before throwing back his head and letting loose a guffaw. Leo and Don cracked up as well. Soon all four were falling over themselves with laughter.

"Oh, man…" Raphael snorted. "What'd ya do?"

"Well, he had pine pitch on his shell from your little… prank," said Mary with a grin. "I just… added a little bit. And… decorated it. You know, so it shows up better." She smirked. "By the way, Raph?"

"Yeah, Author?"

"Pine pitch _isn't _washable."

Raphael's eyes danced with humor. "How long?"

"About three weeks. A month, maybe. Long enough for you?"

Raph considered. "Yeah… I guess so," he said finally. He grinned.

"So you're even? No more trying to murder your brother?"

"Yeah…"

"Finally, this is over." Mary smiled with relief. "Why don't you guys go find something to do for a couple hours until the kids get home? You don't have to head out just yet do you?"

"I promised Arek a ride in the Battle Shell," said Don with a grin. "What do you guys say we play a round of ninja-tag out back?"

"Sounds good ta me," Raph started toward the door.

Mary began cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Leonardo grabbed a plate of dishes from the woman's hands.

"Wait, guys, we should help clean up."

"Yer right, Fearless," said Raph.

Mary nodded. "Ok."

Michelangelo chose that moment to come in the back door with the dogs and into the kitchen. "Ok, I ran 'em," he called. "Is it safe to come in yet?"

"Com'on in, Mikey, yer jus' in time ta do some dishes," answered Raph, throwing a wet rag at his startled brother.

Mikey groaned. "I should've kept running," he grumbled.

"Oh, come on, Mike. It'll be fun," said Mary. "It won't take long if we all pitch in."

"Ok, ok. But let's have some music while we work, ok?" Mikey flipped on the stereo.

_**Wish I had concentrated**_

_**They said love was complicated**_

_**But it's just something I fell into…**_

All movement ceased in the room. Four sets of eyes were fastened on the red-banded turtle in expectation of an explosion.

"I'll… I'll just… umm… change the channel," stammered Mike.

"Nah, Mikey, leave it," growled Raphael. His grin grew wider as his gaze landed on the perfectly-shaped large gold heart glittering on his younger brother's shell. The one that would take weeks to wear off. "I t'ink dat song might jus' be growin' on me."

*end*

* * *

**Heheheh  
**  
**I hope this was as much fun to read as it was to write... Jessica says I was too easy on Mikey. She really wanted to pelt him with rotten vegatables. Well, maybe next time. LOL**

Many thanks to _raphfreak_ for her hilarious fic _I Heart Raphael_, which started this train-wreck rolling down the tracks and to _Lion of Judah_, my other beta reader, for offering herself up as a distraction. Also to _Melody Winters_ for her permission to use her name in an "honorable mention".

**Thanks for reading, and for reviewing... **

**To:**

**_Candlelight_ for the first review, and for her many wonderful fics.  
_Nala162024 _for wanting a turtle of her own  
_TigerToa _for her look of "unholy glee"  
_MelodyWinters _for allowing herself to be mentioned  
_Ramica _for admiring ninja firemen ;)  
_Polaris'05 _for spewing coffee (LOL)  
_ChizuMaehara_ for shivers  
_54 Viruses _for offering protection in the form of her OC, Kit  
_Scribe of Turesa _for attempting to distract Raph  
_AlyssaFelixa _for offering to take Mike off my hands  
_caylender _for a funny review  
_Mew Sakura_ for liking purple more than pink. :)****  
****  
Look for more of these silly little one-shots in the future... The guys seem to like my house for some reason. Maybe because I cook for them. I'll try to keep them to one chapter from here on out, but of course I can guarantee nothing. Not with Mikey around. ;)**


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